Black in America

The verdict for the Zimmerman trial is in: not guilty. I am shocked and disappointed because I feel the justice system failed Trayvon Martin. I don't want to harbor hate in my heart for Zimmerman or any other White person, but it is hard. Someone wrote:
How can a justice system fail you, if it was not meant for you?
As a African American woman, I don't feel safe in my own country. YES, in the country where I pay my taxes and I am and law abiding citizen, I don't feel safe. At this moment, I feel that if someone wants to violate my rights, they can. I know to non-Black Americans, I may sound paranoid and a bit of a conspiracy theorist but the unsettling fact remains that being Black in the USA makes you a second rate citizen.
I detest writing that race and racism are still issues in 2013 but it is true. I don't really understand this judicial system or this country anymore. 

Customer Service

Customer service is an important aspect of the world we live in.
Last week, I received the worst service possible. My boyfriend and I were dining at Louie's Cafe. It's a small diner in a college community.  The food is good and affordable. On this particular occasion, my boyfriend, James, found an extremely long hair hiding in his sausage and cheese covered hashbrowns. The waitress took the plate and said ugh that's gross. She never apologized and she didnt try to compensate us for our ruined meal. I cannot and will not ever eat there again.
I work in fast food and I was embarrassed and angered by her lack of concern. I always treat customers with respect and I "go the extra mile". (That is how I got the nickname, Sunshine)
I just want to be treated the way I treat people.

Red Snapper

I went home (Georgia) this weekend, for Father's Day. Usually me and my sister end up arguing and (lol) true to form we argued. On the positive side, it was brief (usually these squabbles last days but this one was only minutes) but I still feel bad. My mom was in the car and she had so much anguish on her face. That look haunts me and I now I know I have to seek out anger management.

My sister gave me the nickname,"Red Snapper" because of my skin tone and my hot temper. It's a little funny but I'm more embarrassed that I can't control my anger.

So that's my newest endeavor into becoming a better person.

Where's Spongebob?

I don't have children but I am a child at heart. I still watch cartoons and I still wear hair bows. With that being said, where the H E L L is Spongebob?

Yes, he is missing from my Netflix queue. Upon further investigation, he will not be back. Big SIGH! This is the second show that has disappeared from my queue (The Biggest Loser was the first).

While I'm on the subject of Netflix, I don't feel like they are offering me everything that is available to be streamed. Yes, I majorly watch Frasier, Family Guy, American Dad, but I also watch Anime.

This may seem petty but I don't think I'm getting my $8.00 worth.

Stop recommending $hit to me and just put everything that can be streamed up there please.

Working Out

So at this moment, I weigh 270 pounds. Terrible, I know especially after getting down to 239 pounds. (Originally, I weighed 308 pounds) But I am accepting responsibility for eating my way back to the top.

My tasks are simple, do something physical everyday (this ranges from walking my dog, running, going to the gym) I just have to devote an hour to myself and my health.
So here's to Day 1... ready for the 6 mile walk

Taken for Granted

My boyfriend is a slob. His house is something that would easily make a 1 hour Hoarders special. So in the the 2 years we've been together, I can count on two hands how many times I've been to his house. When I do go, I bring bleach, pine-sol, and my own food. I am repulsed by him and his uncleanliness. He claims his brother is the culprit but my boyfriend's room tells another story. It's marred with dirty clothes on the floor and "occasional" dirty dishes.

But anyway, I don't live in the safest neighborhood (remember I was burglarize); however, my apartment is far from being in the "projects". I don't have the newest items in here but I try to keep it clean, especially with a dog. My boyfriend comes over and he is just as bad as her. He leaves whatever he uses (dishes, clothes, bottles,etc.) everywhere. I am really repulsed by him. The final straw is he "shit" in my toilet and did not flush. It happened before and he apologized. But this time, when I sent him a picture of the shit in question, he tried to justify it. There is no justification for nor flushing your own bodily fuctions. Sorry!

I work 8 hours starting 6 am (five days out of the week). I cook when I get home or when we come from the gym. He always has food to eat. And a clean place to sit. I don't remember the last time he said a simple thank you. I'm tired of being taken for granted.

What do you do to make a person know that their actions are upsetting you. I don't want to be a nag. But he is about to be cut-off.

Sleepless in the South

I'm listening to Emeli Sande’ song , Read all about it", and my heart is so heavy right now.

My best friend found out her husband has been cheating on her. And one of the 10 year olds my sister coached died in a car wreck. Attraction (dance group) performed a shadow dance that portrayed love and loss. One of my FB friends buried his cousin today.

None of these events didn't happen to me and I actually had a good day. But people these events might as well have happened to me, because I'm crying all the same.

I feel helpless because there is nothing I can do to fix this. Loss is inevitable and I can't cope. All I can do is pray:

Dear Lord,
I know that their bodies are gone but their spirits are with you, Lord,Please heal the hearts of those effected and affected by these losses. May they find all the comfort and support they need to get through these ordeals. Amen.

Let the healing begin.